Simplicity in Parenting

I am going to talk about a couple of parenting strategies that work for me. Because when my children are in order, I'm happier and then, of course, I'm a better wife!  Plus, happy kids make my husband really happy.

In my life, I find the greatest joy, peace and growth when I gravitate toward simplicity. Leonardo da Vinci said, "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication" and I completely agree with him. I've seen this time and again at varying times in my life. In weeding through the plethora of "expert" health knowledge available, the simplest answers make the most sense and usually aren't de-bunked 10 years down the road. When I've dejunked my home and life, it has always opened the door for greater opportunity. I love to plan parties and have strict party policies (that I'm sure I'll post about later) that provide for stress-free enjoyment.  I feel cutest just wearing a white shirt and jeans--maybe throw in a simple, classy sweater. ;)

From the get-go I knew I didn't have the patience or personality to be the mom of a picky eater. I am NOT going to pack our own food, make separate meals for each person or spend all day in the kitchen. I put a lot of thought and effort into what we eat and that's what we are going to eat!  Early in my married life I had the opportunity to really decide how our family would eat. My husband comes from a less mainstream health-conscious family and I come from a more main-stream health-conscious family so eating was always on the hot topic list.  I read a LOT and talked a LOT with people and listened a LOT and attended a LOT of classes and I learned a LOT about food and the human body. In learning all of these things, it was the simple rules of food that stood out to me most and I gravitated toward them. Over the past 5 years, our food choices and beliefs have come together into something that works for us, and they are being refined every day. And it goes without saying that they are simple. (I'll have to post our family food rules too!)

This does not mean my kids eat hummus and artichokes. And it does not mean that they don't ask for a Sprite every time we go to a restaurant. But these are some of the daily things I do to keep my life simple in regard to feeding my children:

1. I NEVER force them to eat anything or to "finish their plate." I want them to eat when they are hungry and stop when they are satisfied. This is hard for some adults who like to overeat (like myself) to re-learn and I don't want to teach my children the opposite of what I'm trying to teach myself.  I want them to start off listening to their body and eating proper amounts of healthy foods. (Of course I don't let their intuition guide when they are eating junk! My "intuition" always says to eat more when the junk is around! And, I don't let them be "grazers" as you'll see in #3.)

2. I offer all healthy choices on their plate and let them choose what they eat and how much. This is my saying: "You don't have to eat anything and you can have more of everything." This may seem like a "hippie" approach to parenting, where the child gets to do whatever they FEEL like. That is not my philosophy. I know that a child offered mac n cheese or salad is going to choose mac n cheese. Or given the choice to go to school or sleep in they will choose to sleep in. I believe children need to be taught and guided in making proper choices in all areas of life. In eating, as well as in other aspects, I give them appropriate options and then let them choose.

3. I only prepare three meals a day and occasionally a snack. Simple. This is when we are eating, and this is what we are eating. No extra work for mom because the meals I give them took lots of work and thought. When I'm giving my kids their free choice at dinner, it doesn't mean that if they don't eat anything I'm going to give them graham crackers after dinner, that would be working against myself! Dinner is our last meal of the day and if they don't eat it--gasp! they go hungry. If we do have a snack after dinner, it again, is something appropriate and healthy.

4. This fourth thing doesn't apply to food only, but it comes up often at meal time. "Get me some water." "I don't want any beans." This is what I say to winey demands: "You only have to ask once, and you only have to ask nicely." I cannot put up with wining, demands and pickiness. You don't have to eat the beans, but you do have to keep them on your plate. If you want water, ask politely.

I think I mainly wrote this post to put my philosophies on paper for my own benefit! I think them in my head and do them during the day, but I want to remember what I stand for when parenting gets tough! Finding things that work for me and that add to the simplicity and peace in my life is a goal of mine and these are some that are sticking with us. (And I like that I made these little sayings up by myself!)


“I would not give a fig for the simplicity this side of complexity, but I would give my life for the simplicity on the other side of complexity.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes

I tried it!

This is the first of a new series of posts I will be doing. I love to read inspiring blogs of people who create, craft, cook, etc.  I love to get creative and it helps me a bunch to have step-by-step instructions--especially with pictures. So I will be trying out tutorials from other blogs, showing you how it went and rating it on a scale of simple to expert.  I'm going to show you how the average blogger does with these expert tutorials! ;)


So...

I tried it! I made an 8-Layer Rainbow Cake from One Charming Party. 

OCP (One Charming Party) offers simple instructions for this cake on their site, but I opted to order the entire party plan for $25 so I could have some more detailed instructions and they were well worth it! Plus, the party looks so fun, I can't wait to use all of the ideas in the kit!

My children loved helping me color each layer of the cake.

 This is my set-up. Don't you LOVE the bright and detailed PDF tutorial from OCP? (And I snacked on some apples while I baked. That's a good trick to keep from snitching!)

 This was the time-consuming part. I had two 8-inch pans so I would cook two at a time, wait for them to cool, flip them out onto the wire rack, then wash the pans and cook two more...until all 8 were done.

 This was the best tip I learned: Freeze the cake before you frost it!

 I started frosting... (with my trusty PDF tutorial in the background, of course)

 Somewhere along the way my cake started to tilt. It wasn't too bad, and I had no idea how to fix it! So I just left it and it was fine.

 All done! Doesn't look like much on the outside, does it? (You can see the cardboard still sitting under the cake. On the tutorial, they were frosting it with cardboard underneath but then never told how to get the cardboard out. Their finished product didn't show the cardboard and I didn't know what to do, so mine was displayed cardboard and all!) 

But check out that inside! It was so bright and fun! 

(Also, you can really see the tilting here.)

 Just look at that big old slice, isn't it beautiful!? Oooh, I love it!

Matt's birthday was the perfect occasion for me to try this cake out. I've been wanting to ever since I saw it in all it's rainbow glory on OCP's site.

 

And then, it collapsed. Luckily we had all devoured most of it by then!

And there you have it! I tried the 8-Layer Rainbow Cake from One Charming Party!

Wrap Up:
 I don't have much cake experience and I was able to do this! It was simple to create, but mine didn't turn out perfect, it was tilting! I would definitely make this cake again.
Because I was so concerned with the look of the cake, I opted to use a cake mix and store-bought frosting. Normally, I'm a homemade gal, but the beauty of this cake was worth the trade-off!

This Is What It Means To Be A Wife

While your husband is backpacking somewhere in Southern Utah and you don't know when he's coming back (maybe Monday, maybe Tuesday) and you can't call him...

Suddenly your house is overrun with mice! Jimminy Cricket! Rodents are your biggest fear in the whole entire world!

Throughout the week your fear turns into disgust which turns into anger which turns into war! You set up traps all over the house and catch a bunch of mice and poison the rest of their friends.

When your husband calls, you say, "Oh yeah, I've been killing mice all over this house. They are everywhere. You know how terrified I am of mice, right? Well, that's no biggie. I just did what needed to be done. Yeah, that's the courageous woman you're married to."

And inside you're thinking, "I'm so grossed out I can't even walk around my house in bare feet! My perfect little sanctuary is now tainted with a mice infestation and I don't want to come back until they are gone! I can't even cook, clean or rest in my house anymore. I'm so mad at those stupid mice! I want to cry and scream and move to a hotel!"

So you see, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade in front of your husband and then pull your sour face when he's not looking.  Get it?

Right Now I'm Feeling...

...Tired--no, exhausted.

...Genuinely happy for other peoples' adventures in life.

...Full and content, even though I haven't eaten for a while.

...Warm--I think it's time to take the quilt off my bed.

...Excitement and hope from daydreams of possibilities.

...A little nervous at the thought of mothering more children than my current handful--someday.

...Confident in who I am.

...Desperately wanting to be a better version of who I am.

...Violated by a mouse in my house.

...Excited to let my kids wake me up in the morning! (I'm sleeping in due to exhaustion. See above.)

My little friends. 

Who have been acting up since we've been back in town.  Eight days without mom and dad put them through some inner turmoil, I think. :(  I can't wait to see them in the morning!

The Food Nanny

I had the fun opportunity to see the Food Nanny, Liz Edmunds, speak! She has a reality TV show on KBYU and a cook book called The Food Nanny Rescues Dinner. I enjoyed learning from her time-tested experience in creating successful, home-cooked dinners.

This woman is passionate about family dinner time! As am I. Most of us know the importance of consistent family dinners. A few benefits are that we get to connect with our family, have some enjoyment after a long day, and teach our children manners and healthy eating habits. What I love best is that our children will learn to talk with each other! Hearing one anothers opinions and sharing their own, plus knowing what the others are up to and learning from each other. (This is also one of the reasons my children share a room.) They will learn to talk and understand one another so they can be involved in each others' lives and ultimately be each others' best friends!

"Our surveys have consistently found that the more often children have dinners with their parents, the less likely they are to smoke, drink or use drugs, and that parental engagement fostered around the dinner table is one of the most potent tools to help parents raise healthy, drug-free children." -Joseph Califano, Columbia University


My favorite things about her book are her simple bread recipes and her "theme" nights.  Greg and I sat down and decided on theme nights for our family. (they are very similar to The Food Nanny's themes)


Monday COMFORT FOOD
Monday is the hardest day of the week! We all need some comfort and family time at the end of the day.
Tuesday MEXICAN
When made at home, Mexican is one of the healthiest kinds of food out there.
Wednesday BREAKFAST FOR DINNER
A little mid-week fun for dinner. Who ever has time for great breakfast food in the mornings anyway?
Thursday ITALIAN
Oh the rich flavor of Italian! We had to have that in here somewhere.
Friday PIZZA
Celebrate the week!
Saturday GRILL
This is the day we can grill or make foods from around the world.  It's a day when I can go to the store that very morning and get special ingredients for a unique meal if I have time. OR I can throw something on the grill if I don't have much time.
Sunday TRADITIONS
Sundays are usually spent with extended family.  When it's my turn to have everyone over, I'll either make old family recipes or share our favorites with them!


Of course, date nights and leftovers will be substituted, but this base plan will be incredibly helpful. I already tried out Friday Pizza Night! See HERE.

Hunt for the Golden Egg 2011

With all of this adventurous land behind our new house, I KNEW from the beginning we were having an egg hunt--for adults! We marked off about an acre of land with trees, cacti, bushes, hills, etc. It was treacherous ;)

Here are the rules:

• each team has one color of egg and there are 5 eggs for each team
• there is one golden egg
• each team has to find all 5 of their eggs and bring their basket back to the starting line before they can look for the golden egg
• if you see the golden egg before you have found your 5 colored eggs you cannot pick it up, you can only try to remember where it was

The race was on! It was fun to watch these adults get some exercise and an adrenaline rush!   Each team also got to choose a small prize in the order that they finished the hunt. The winning team graciously gave up their first choice prize spot to the last team--whose fifth egg is still out there somewhere! It was a ton of fun!

There was also a simple hunt for the children. I filled 5 eggs of each color and the children could only find their color. (A little preschool in the mix!) Their eggs were filled with balloons, insect toys and little chicks. We had bubbles and sidewalk chalk to entertain them as well.  

Did I mention it was lightly snowing during the hunts!?

Before the hunt we had an easter lunch.

MENU: 

Egg salad sandwiches, "rabbit food", carrot cake cupcakes, fruit, acini de pepe salad and izze soft drinks. 

The kids had a hard boiled egg in a nest, a pb&h with an easter cookie cutter, rabbit food and an izze at their own table. 

PARTY RESOURCES
Egg salad recipe HERE
Rabbit Food - cups of ranch dip with celery and carrots
*print these labels for free by clicking HERE! You're welcome :)
Carrot Cake Cupcakes recipe HERE
Eggs in a nest - brown coffee filters filled with confetti and a hard boiled egg in the center
*Don't forget, HERE I show you how to make the PERFECT hard-cooked eggs

I chose the right man.

Before I met Mr. McGary I had so many ideas about what I thought my life would be like.  I thought I would travel the world, learn a language, graduate college, fully succeed in life and then, when I was about 30 or so, I might get married. Kids? Probably...someday...maybe.  I never really liked babysitting as a teen so maybe kids weren't for me, I thought.  Kids and family were an after thought.  Surely they would never bring me as much happiness as my experiences.

So this is the girl I was when I was 20. All I knew was that I had a sweet gig at the airport, flying for free, working with hot guys. (I'm not ashamed to say that was one of the best parts of my job!) I had a rule not to date anyone from work, until I met Mr. McGary that sunshiny day. I saw that smile of his and I knew I had to go see what he was all about.  After our first words, I also knew I wouldn't be getting any work done that day! We talked and mildly worked all night long. We joked that very first day that we would get married. And wud-a-ya-know? 9 months later, we did!

You see, when I began dating Mr. McGary, my whole life began to flash before my eyes. All of the dreams I once had felt empty to me.  The only things I wanted in life were, 1) to never leave this man's side and 2) to have a family with him.  Suddenly, I began to see life in a whole new way! Nothing I had ever done in life ever made me feel the way I felt around Mr. McGary. I had never felt more love, hope and confidence.  I knew immediately that marriage and family--which had previously been an afterthought to me--clearly are what life is all about. I was changed forever.  That's what love did to me!

I made my choice and I have never looked back. I credit all of the goodness in my life to Mr. McGary! He loves me, he believes in me and he provides for me.  My choice to marry him and have a family is by far the best choice I've ever made in my whole life.  Ever.

Making a HOUSE a HOME

We recently purchased our first home. Woohoo! 

It's an incredible feeling to own your own home.  What I LOVE best about it is that I get to make this home exactly as I want it to be.  I get to decide if it's an inviting home, a simple home, a modern home, a cluttered home, a chaotic home, a happy home, or a clean home, etc. 

My favorite thing is that I get to determine the feeling in this home. You know what I'm talking about... the feeling. What do I feel when I walk into my home? How does it make me feel when I'm in my home all day? How do others feel when they are in my home.  My goal is PEACE.  My home is a haven for myself and my family. When the world is hectic and you never know what you're going to get, in my house I always know what I'm going to get.  My home is comfortable, inspiring and happy--these things bring me peace. I HOPE that others will experience some of that when they come here.

A few days after we moved in, we had a special family night where we all dressed up fancy. (I wish I would have had someone to take our picture that night!) Mr. McGary dedicated our house and made it a home.  We made a list of what we want our home to be like and what we hope to accomplish by having this home.  It was a special night and I can honestly say I do feel that peace I was hoping for!


Notice: I keep saying MY home.  Interestingly, as the homemaker and housewife here, I really do feel that this home is MY responsibility.  I determine this feeling we talked about earlier; I determine what the house looks like; I prepare the food; I'm responsible for the cleanliness of the home; I train the children who speak (or yell) in this home.  This is my stewardship and THIS HOME WILL BE WHATEVER I MAKE IT. End of story. That's the power we have as wives and mothers.  Weighty, isn't it? But it's amazing!

5 Years of Marriage

(Chicago, 2011-John and Missy Butcher's condo)

Happy 5th Anniversary! Five years ago today it was a gorgeous, sunny, warm day at Sundance Ski Resort...and it was my wedding day! It dumped snow the night before so there was a beautiful white blanket on the mountains, not a cloud in the sky and high temperatures! With the weather how it is now, I can't imagine that I would plan an outdoor wedding this early in the season. But in 2006 it worked out perfectly!

In the morning I had to go get my dress re-fitted. Then I arrived early and decorated for my own wedding. Yeah, you can imagine that I would do that, right? FUN! Then I went to the honey moon suite and got ready for my wedding day all by myself. I did my own hair and make up, put my dress on, and walked back up to the lodge to meet my groom. We took pictures before the event, so I spoiled that whole thing where the groom is not supposed to see the bride before the wedding. There were pots of tulips that my mom insisted we have on the walk way--they were beautiful and perfect! The sun was in everybody's eyes! Jace and Dane were just babies! They were so cute as ring bearers. Adam played the guitar and made us a cute wedding video, we had yummy food and cake (made by my Aunt Barb), enjoyed friends and family and gave away our own homemade "Livin' On Love Raw Energy Bars". Greg and I stayed at the Sundance resort that night and then drove to Cedar City the next morning to begin our journey. (A couple weeks later we honeymooned in Mexico, but that's another story! Flying standby, sunburns, walking, and coming home early! haha) We lived in a basement apartment at $400/month. We had one chair in our living room, no kitchen table and our bed was on the floor. I got pregnant right away. And that's how our story began...

I become quite emotional lately when I think about the past 5 years. We started out two kids, in love with big dreams, who became two parents with strong convictions working diligently toward a life we believe in--and we know we were meant for. I can't believe what we've gone through and experienced in 5 short years. I'm in awe of the obvious molding and shaping; the fiery kiln and the beauty of the glaze when we're out. (Repeat over and over...that's life!) What a process life is! How can we ever think we know what's in store for us 5 years down the road?!

My 5 year words of wisdom are: Dream BIG, follow your heart (your gut, the Holy Spirit, whatever you call it), do what you know is right (no matter the cost), and trust in a higher power (who to me are a loving Heavenly Father and the Savior of the entire world, Jesus Christ).

The details of these years are so personal to me. The memories are so vivid. When I see pictures, I immediately find myself back in that space of time, feeling all of the emotions I once felt. I feel like I can relive any moment in the past 5 years if I want to. Sometimes I daydream about the really good ones just for fun! The bad ones I've almost completely forgotten about. It's an unconscious choice to be optimistic and positive, I guess, because I honestly can't even remember some things. We don't learn from the negative moments in our lives anyway, we learn from their silver linings.

Happy 5th Anniversary to my husband and I!

Valentine's Party 2011

This year, we had our 2nd annual Valentine Party with the Wray family. 

Adults only, except this little cutie:

The table, adorned in all it's fancy shmancy Valentine glory. 

The party was at my parents gorgeous home--you can see the view out the windows!

Each couple had an embellished picture of them together, with a quote about LOVE on it.  There were place settings, candles, flowers, doilies, sparkles and a little take home--handmade chocolate/caramel hearts. I also made the table runner!

MENU:

lasagna

rolls

salad

sparkly drink

Valentine's Day is ALL about treats! Heart shaped sugar cookies and brownie bites, cinnamon lips, homemade chocolate hearts, candy hearts... oh my!

It was a FANTASTIC night! We played our own version of the newlywed game. It was fun to get to know each other and each couple better! One thing we thought was that we throw parties for extended family, showers, etc. but rarely do we have a party just for us! It was fun to make such a big deal out of the holiday even though it was just the same old people showing up.   

This was my favorite thing I've done all year! I had so much fun planning it and had lots of help.  Everyone had a great time! 


Reader Request: Here are some of the questions we asked in the Newlywed Game.  We had about 10 questions. It's funny that everyone knows how their spouse eats a hamburger, I don't think anyone got that one wrong!

1. What does your spouse put on a hamburger? 
2. What is your spouse most likely to be doing on a Sunday afternoon?
3. What is your spouse's most repeated phrase or word?
4. What is your spouse's idea of a perfect vacation?
5. Which quality do you admire most in your spouse?
6. What is the first thing (excluding bodily functions) that your spouse does in the morning?

Valentine Craft Fever

Call me Martha Stewart.  Just do it now because you're going to want to after you read this post.

This holiday just puts me in the crafting mood!  Do I ever post crafts on this blog? Only during February. There's something about Valentines Day... the pink, the red, the cutesy, lovey dovey-ness of it all that brings out my inner crafter.

First on the docket: invitations to my Valentine's Day (adults only) party

Next: Preschool class valentines for Sam and Abby.  I just couldn't bring myself to buy boxes of Dora and Diego valentines.  Not fun for me. Probably more fun for my kids, but not for me.  And I make the decisions around here, right? These were SO much fun for me to make! I even used the sewing machine by myself!  Yay! Without my husband's help.  I didn't even call him to ask which settings to use.  He's going to be so proud. I'm proud!

Pirate valentines for Sam's class include a kit to make your own pirate eye patch + chocolate gold coins.

Abigail's valentines include a candy bracelet.

Decoration: ribbons and hearts... cute isn't it?

Now let me remind you: for a craft to be A+ in my book it has to be SIMPLE, QUICK and CUTE. I am not all about expert-level, ultra fancy shmancy, embellished to the hilt. That's not me.  (some of these pictures are iPhone quality--my apologies)

Enjoy your Valentine's Day countdown!  One week to go!

Still to come:
*Decorations, food, favors, games, etc. from my Feb. 14 party
*More family/friend/teacher valentines
*Valentine sugar cookies
*We're going to give my husband a heart attack ;)
*My kids/husband's V-day 2011 gifts
*V-day breakfast

It's Official!

It's official, there are two weeks until my MOST favorite holiday ever!!

This year I have planned:

*Special gifts for my kids and hubby

*Adults only V-day dinner with my family

*Homemade decorations
*Kiddie valentines for preschool
*Lots of love notes
*Sweet treats

Stay tuned!